"Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground"


so this isn't much of a life when i see the little note i wrote and break down crying.

and its all for you.
i though that i was done with you.
and everything else.
but fuck this all.
i should be through with you.

but i'm patiently waiting for nothing.
cause i'm oh so smart.
i feel alot better thank you very much.
cause i'm corrupted to a point of no return.


cause i'm the new cancer.
and you just hate the way i am.
and i don't mind and i don't care.
as long as you're here with me.
all the subtle hints.
i still miss you asshole.

i'll do it all over again.
cause it will still be the same.
the 8 most fucked up months of my life.
where your words keep ringing in my head.
it just doesn't work that way.
but i'll take you for who you are.

emy was right.
once a smoker.
always a smoker.
i quit for you.
but ill quit for the ones i love.
but its keeping me from doing something more destructive.
when you think of cutting.
do something else.
smoke.

yeah.
i'm proclaiming to you all.
cause i'm on the brink of a breakdown.
but i can't cry.
i just dont know how to let it out.
cause i dont know what exactly am i going through.
i want to cry.
but the tears won't come out.
and the fucking radio isn't working.
i'm not going to cut.
i'm not going to throw things around.
i won't punch the walls.
i won't keep to myself.
i just won't.

cause you cant see how much i'm dying inside when i dont have you.
i'm still dependant on you.
fuck.
when it isn't supposed to be.
sweet talker mother fucker.


but i'll be alright without you.